Thursday, July 12, 2012

Corporate speak taken to a higher level

I came across a wonderful example of corporate speak a couple of weeks ago and finally have the time to share it with you.

Having once worked in a large hospital which was thoroughly infused with all of the bad things about corporations including all of the jargon, I’ve always been a fan of the comic strip Dilbert. As evidenced by today’s (July 12) strip, the following is certainly Dilbert-worthy.

An article appeared in the Atlantic Wire about the continuing downfall of Research in Motion, the company that makes the once-vaunted BlackBerry. RIM badly misread the evolution of the smartphone and finds itself laying off 5000 employees and losing tons of money.

According to the story, the CEO of RIM had the following comment during a conference call about the companies plunging sales figures.

He said, "I am not satisfied with these results and continue to work aggressively with all areas of the organization and the Board to implement meaningful changes to address the challenges, including a thoughtful realignment of resources and honing focus within the Company on areas that have the greatest opportunities."

Fortunately, I do not own any RIM stock, but if I did I would not be reassured by a 48 word sentence that when read closely, says absolutely nothing.


Totenfetch said...

I read it to say "we are firing people & shifting those that are left to products that we hope will make money (and keep us a going concern)"

Unknown said...

Ditto @ Totenfetch

P said...

My translation: "We really screwed up in terms of predicting what people actually wanted and can't satisfy their needs and are now trying everything we can to just compete with Apple".

Skeptical Scalpel said...

Peter, yes, I think he was trying to say that.

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