Friday, February 11, 2011

New Diseases Discovered by Hospital Clerical Personnel

Here is a list of illnesses and terms found on actual patient admitting medical records at a hospital which shall remain nameless. The “illness” or term is followed by a translation when possible.

Fibial Fracture. There’s a tibia and a fibula but no fibia.

Subcutaneous hematuria. Hematoma (bruise) under the skin. Hematuria means blood in the urine.

Urinary constipation. Patient unable to pee.

Intelligent gait. ???

Bilateral sore throat. Last time I looked, the throat was not a paired structure.

Gullstones. What you would throw at a bird at the beach.

Umbilectomy. Umbilical hernia repair?

Protruded appendix. Perforated appendicitis.

Gastropsoriasis. Gastroparesis or slow emptying of the stomach.

Sphincter of Jedi. Sphincter of Oddi, a structure that controls the flow of bile into the duodenum.

Strangulated labia. I’m not going to touch that one.


Anonymous said...

Pyeloneuritis: inflammation of the renal nerve

Anonymous said...

Necrotizing fibromyalgia (just love that)

Skeptical Scalpel said...

Necrotizing fibromyalgia? You win.

Anonymous said...

Intelligent gait = antalgic gait?

Old Rockin' Dave said...

It's not a new disease, but when I worked in radiation oncology the transcribers continuously typed "deli fractions" for "daily fractions". We got in the habit of recording our notes saying things like, "The patient received treatment in 35 daily fractions - that's "daily" as in "every day, not "deli" as in pastrami sandwich"".

Anonymous said...

How about "renal ass"- I always wondered if that will be covered in the ICD-10.

rlbates said...

Pelvic encephalopathy

Anonymous said...

dr im not working this pregnancy is a labor accident jeje that say a patient

Skeptical Scalpel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.

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