Applicants, want to be a resident but don’t write good? Here’s help

Thanks to a spammer trying to comment on some of my posts, I have been introduced to the world of online personal statement services.

On a website called internalmedicineresidency.biz, $54.09 (discounted to $43.27 if you order by June 30) will get you a 275-word personal statement. As the website points out, “Coming up with a personal statement internal medicine of this quality is far from easy, but it’s what our professional service is here to help you achieve.”

Under the heading “How to create a killer statement, item #2 is “Argue why you suit for the course.”

The site offers a sample personal statement that begins, “I’ve always admired those who work in the health care industry not only because my mother was one but the fact that these people are the ones who care for our well being.”

In case you are after bigger game, the same company offers similar services for obtaining a neurosurgical residency. This site says, “Getting a neurosurgery residency can give your career a boost which can have a positive effect at your future in this field.”

I must agree that if you want to become a neurosurgeon, failure to obtain a neurosurgical residency position is a definite disadvantage. In fact, I think it would pretty much preclude your becoming a neurosurgeon.

It may be more difficult to obtain a neurosurgical residency than one in internal medicine, but the price for a neurosurgery personal statement, at a mere $27.19, is much lower.

For some reason when you click on the Sample tab, the site displays a “Pre Med Personal Statement” followed by this paragraph:

Pre Med personal statement writing is nowadays proven as beneficial using online services. Nowadays, students are showing more interest for the pre-med programs because of its value and prospective value for the future medicine studies. There is a great competition every year for this program and thousands of students applying every year too. Here, it is indicating, how important it is to add your application with a personal statement. If you fail to satiate this factor, then admission success is hard to expect. Our service is definitely wise option here to come up with a neurosurgery residency personal statement and any winning personal statement.

If that doesn’t convince you to try this service, I don’t know what will.

A USMLE Forum lists 18 other websites that provide personal statement writing services. I wish I had time to check out all of them.

Stuff I see on charts that drives me crazy

As I exist on the brink of extreme crankiness every day, it doesn’t take much to push me over the edge. Here are some things that do.

Why do history and physical write-ups sound like transcriptions of interrogations? Specifically, why to doctors write, “Patient denies alcohol use”? It’s as if the patient has been accused of using alcohol and when she says she doesn’t drink, we say she “denies” it. In my experience, the vast majority of patients tell the truth during H&P interviews. There’s a difference between saying, “Patient doesn’t drink alcohol” and “The patient denies alcohol use.”

In reference to the examination of the head, eyes, ears, nose and throat, who is teaching medical students to write things like this?

“HEENT: normocephalic, atraumatic.”

With the exception of Joseph Merrick, known as “The Elephant Man,” just about every person I have ever seen is normocephalic. And other than those who have suffered an injury, the heads of most patients show no trauma.

It is important for a physician to know how to write a coherent sentence and spell words correctly. Poor spelling and grammar reflect either ignorance or sloppiness. Take the word “guaiac” for example. It refers to a reagent used less frequently now for the testing of the stool for blood. It is not spelled “guiac” or “guaic.” If you can’t spell it, use the word “heme” or simply say, “The stool test for blood was negative.”

Worst of all is misstating the plural of the word “diverticulum.” I have seen colorectal surgeons and gastroenterologists, both of whom should know better, refer to more than one diverticulum as “diverticuli” or “diverticulae.” Listen up, people. Diverticulum is derived from a Latin word. Its gender is neuter. Maybe you can remember it by considering other similar words: one bacterium, many bacteria; datum, data; stratum, strata.

Having said all this, I feel better now.

NY Times Wedding Profile Ignites the Internet: Grammatical and Medical Implications

So there’s this big dustup about a couple whose wedding was profiled in the NY Times on Sunday. It seems in the process of discovering they were soul mates, they broke up two marriages, both with children, the two couples had been friends and blah, blah, blah. The Times had to shut down the comments section of the story because of the furor.

Then Slate posted some sort of blog about it and among the comments is a biblical reference by a person with the apparent pseudonym “Guest.” [Or maybe it was Christopher Guest but I doubt it because he likely would have known better.] Anyway, include in Guest’s numerous ramblings was this “Let he who is without sin throw the first stone.”

Forget about the wedding. I have to unload about the comment. The exhortation “Let he who is without sin throw the first stone” is from the Book of John something:something. Various versions of the passage exist [Google it yourself and see]. But the correct way to say this is “Let him who is without sin throw the first stone.” If you don’t believe me, try this. Delete the clause “who is without sin” and say what remains “Let he throw the first stone.” Can you appreciate that it just don’t sound right?

By the way, two comments by others suggested the bride and groom are narcissists. Please don’t forget that narcissism is no longer a disease. It’s been relegated to the status of just being a very annoying personality trait.