A One Act Play by Leo Gordon, MD
Dedicated to Parathyroid Surgeons
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All proceeds from the production of this play go to Parathyroids Anonymous--An international organization dedicated to the well-being of those who perform parathyroid surgery
Scene: A sparsely furnished church basement. Rain is beating against the window panes. Folding chairs are arranged in a semi-circle. Participants are drinking from plastic cups. Some are in scrub suits. All appear tired.
Don: Hello. My name is Don and I’m a parathyroid surgeon.
All: Hello Don
Don: I will be your facilitator tonight. We have a new member so let me set the ground rules. All of us in this room are parathyroid surgeons. We maintain our anonymity as we discuss the mental and physical distress that parathyroid surgery engenders. There are no boundaries at our meetings. We speak openly and freely. Use your first name only. And of course, no patient names. Who wants to begin?
Miriam: (Nervously) Hello. My name is Miriam and I am a parathyroid surgeon.
All: Hello Miriam
Miriam: I’ve been here a few times but I’m a little bit nervous.
Don: Don’t be nervous Miriam. We all share the same problems.
Miriam: Well… last week. (Begins sobbing)
Don: Now Miriam, just relax. Please continue.
Miriam: I had a 56 year old woman referred to me with hypercalcemia. She had had elegant localizing studies at our hospital. Both studies – nuclear and sonographic - stated with metaphysical certainty that there was an adenoma of the right lower gland. Yet (sobbing) when we explored the area, there was no adenoma present. All we found was a normal sized parathyroid gland!
Al: (Hands Miriam a handkerchief)
Don: Go on, Miriam